By Damilola Faustino
There’s nothing wrong with playing nice and getting along. But people pleasers rely on others’ approval to feel good about themselves. Saying no makes them feel guilty or worry that others will think they are selfish, unreasonable, or inconsiderate. And so, in order to feel worthy and accepted, they say yes even if the yes is very inconveniencing. So, if you are a people pleaser, here are reasons you should stop being one!
You become very honest with yourself.
Being a people-pleaser shields your real identity so that you can conform to other people’s standard. If you’re with someone who hates money, you pretend to hate money to get their approval. If you’re with someone who gossips, you gossip to get liked. If you stop this, you will be honest with yourself.
You learn to be more assertive and respected
Never ever think that people will automatically like you more or respect you more if you always say yes to them. Saying no, on the other hand, commands respect and authority. If you have the power to say no to a trivial request, you’re communicating that you’re secure and comfortable with your choice.
You appreciate the real people in your life
In life, not everyone will reveal their true selves to you. Some people only tolerate being with you because they want to get something out of the relationship. Some people are good manipulators who always expect you to do something for them. When you finally stand your ground and stop pleasing everyone, these fake people will magically stay out of your life and these real people will stay with you.
You will be happ
When you stop worrying what everyone thinks about you, you give yourself a chance to focus on yourself and be happy. You learn to love yourself. And in the end, you start living a happier and more positively.
You will be less tired
Whatever your reason for people-pleasing, it gets tiring. Putting everyone before yourself, trying to make all parties involved feel good can wear you down. As much as you want everyone to lie you, you’ll just exhaust yourself.