Let me clarify, there is no error in the title; granted there is an Art to love and a mystery and spontaneity involved in romance, but this is not to be confused with the very real, often very specific parameters we set for ourselves when we:
- Decide the type of person we want a relationship with
- Decide that we want out of a relationship
I have had the benefits (and horrors) of being in these positions a few times in my life (hey, don’t judge me); and after many hours of intro and retrospection, these are a few guidelines I’ve found that if I had always followed, I’d have lost less time and sleep over some of my past trysts. These rules are meant to stave off bad liaisons and remind you of some truths when you are on the brink of leaving a gad relationship, anyone in between is in love and more than likely irrational.
I’ll start with the:
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
- BE REALISTIC- No man or woman was built with the answers to your issues, no one is coming ready made to whisk you away to nirvana. The truth is nine out of ten times; both parties come in looking for the answers to the universe in the eyes of their new paramour. Heck, may be lost in the haze of new feelings, you may even think you’ve found it, but just as surely as your life isn’t a one and a half hour hallmark movie, I can assure you that as the novelty fades, it will strip you of all wanderlust and all you’ll be left with is the thing you ignored in the first place…reality.
- Curiosity killed the cat right? Well your heart has way more than nine lives and if you want to stop dying and restarting like a video game, then ASK QUESTIONS: The more the better, this will help you reduce the risk factor in the leap you are about to make. Religion, Ancestry, Educational Background, Friendships, Aspirations, Social Customs all contribute to the woman/man standing in front of you; Why ignore the obvious factors that make up a person’s history? Checking a girl/guy’s star sign for compatibility is rather ludicrous if you don’t first know what he/she believes.
To be continued…