Written By Damilola Faustino
Dealing with your lover’s ex who is always lurking around can be very annoying. And, since many of us have a past, it’s necessary to face the fact that exes do exist. However, some of them want to let you know that they actually exist. It may be that she frequently textS him, or they’re friends on social media. If an ex is disturbing your partner, here are smart, mature ways to handle them:
One of the best tactics for dealing with an ex is to simply ignore them. She may be jealous that he’s now with you and has moved on, especially if she hasn’t found a new partner. If you respond, she knows that she’s getting to you and will carry on.
Respect for you
Your boyfriend’s ex does not have the right to disrespect you by causing problems in your relationship. He should make it clear that he won’t tolerate any disrespect towards you. If he allows her to get away with causing problems, you should let him know that it will be unacceptable.
Some exes are best handled by treating them in a friendly manner even if you don’t want to be their friend. She will be shocked by your friendliness. At the end, she will respect you because you are unbothered.
Trust and confidence
Unless your boyfriend gives you a reason not to feel confident then you should trust him. He’s with you, not her, and if your relationship is secure then she can’t come between you.
Agree on limits
Negotiate with your boyfriend and find the amount of contact that you are happy for him to have with his ex.
Not their saviour
There are some exes who rely on your boyfriend for everything. If they have a headache, they call your boyfriend, if they cannot open their door, they call your boyfriend and if they cannot go home for the night, they ask to stay with your boyfriend. This can drive you crazy to the point you become frustrated. Before it gets to this, point out to your boyfriend that he’s not her saviour.