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By Oludara Ogunbowale

Have you ever felt unlucky in the scheme of things? Maybe of your siblings, you are the only one who is apparently not as brilliant as the rest or not as beautifully crafted or handsomely built as the others. And just when you are trying to get to terms with all of these, you find out that amongst your friends, you are the least reckoned with. Well, you are not alone.

Everybody at some point would have to go through feelings like these.

Life is not fair and does not promise you that it would be but like the sage says, ‘Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.’ This statement kind of explains that though life throws at us cruel situations, what is much more important, is how we handle such situations. It is understandable that you may be seemingly physically unattractive, an amputee, or an orphan whose guardians are unkind.

You may think ‘oh that’s even much better, if I went through those I could cope’ or let’s see maybe you are a patient with some sort of terminal disease or family hitches that may affect posterities or you just lost a loved one. Your millions may have just gone down the drain in a business deal that you thought you had some bankable prospects over and you just got heart broken and separated from someone you thought would be your spouse or that was even your spouse…

Maya Angelou, an African-American poet, memoirist and civil rights’ activist once said ‘You may not control all the events that happen to you but you can decide not to be reduced by them.’ This is still some 10 – 90 rule looking at it closely.

It is probably not your fault that everything you are going through or must have gone through had anything to do with you; Sometimes, it may have been the fault of others whose actions had some ripple effect on you or you were just a victim of circumstance or maybe the part that is harder to swallow, is that you had some part to play in all that has befallen you.

Feeling the way you do right now is very valid. It is quite logical that all the occurrences threw you off balance because the human nature resists pain and gets addicted to pain (especially emotional pain). Psychologists say that when pain crosses a certain level of an individual’s threshold, addiction to pain may set in as constant feelings of helplessness provides some sort of relief and comfort for the individual… Now you get it.

You are not unlucky; you were hit hard and rightly or wrongly so. This could be used to your advantage if you would see things from an optimistic perspective. No matter how much external help you seek, the real deal still remains that only you can make better the scheme of things right now. But if you have got to point where three to ten roads meet and you have to make a choice, then you just have to go ahead and trust providence help you take a step in the right direction.

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