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By Halima Bekenne

Who remembers the #hurtbae? Nobody? Okay, a little background – a lady has been dating a serial cheat for the past 6 years and on so many occasions she’s been disrespected by this guy without remorse. So there was a video of her confronting the guy and to cut the long story short… it was heartbreaking!

Wondering what they have to do with this post? Well, men are scum! We all know that! But have we ever stopped to think maybe just maybe we give these men the privilege to treat us like we are nothing? My feminist card will probably get revoked because of this but please stay with me.

Naturally, you might not suspect that the guy you’ve been talking to (we really should discuss this whole talking situation) has the traits of my notorious Yoruba brothers but there is a point you get to and realize that something is just not right.

You are dating a guy that constantly doesn’t treat you right and then the minute you get ready to bounce, “uncle” miraculously gets his act together, promising you heaven on earth. Then you stay thinking God has finally touched his heart and then two weeks later, bam! We are back to square one! But you still stay hoping on God to “perform” another miracle on this guy. Sometimes, God is already giving you the signs you need by allowing him keep acting the way he does, so don’t go disturbing God when all you have to do is open your eyes to the things he is showing you. Not every issue deserves a ‘war room’ you know.

Now let’s assume that this waited-upon miracle finally happens and the persona you fell in love with returns, what then? You enjoy the ride while daily praying to God that he does not relapse (for lack of a better word). Walking on eggshells and practically living on pins and needles hoping for the proverbial other shoe not to drop.

The worst part is when you knowingly go ahead and marry this person with the hope that they’ll change. I’m sorry to break it to you but marriage is not some miraculous potion that cures people of their bad traits.

Marriage is nothing but a magnifying glass, it shows in HD those things your partner was doing while you were dating but chose to ignore because they were in ‘mp3 format’.

There’s something called the “see-saw philosophy”. It simply means that whatever you see in marriage are things you saw while dating but choose to ignore.

These things are signs that something is not right and should never be ignored.

Read Halima Bekenne’s content on Accelerate TV Every Wednesday

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