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Once upon a time, Kanye West put a song on his latest album called ‘Famous’, said the line ‘I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex…I made that bi*ch famous’ and the rest is epic, shady history.

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‘Aww, happier, less shady times’

Taylor publicly took offense with the ‘bi*ch’ line, playing up the sympathy card and even getting her legion of paid celebrity minions friends in on some Kanye bashing as well. She claimed the song left her ‘blindsided’. She even went as far as to sub Kanye during her Grammy speech, saying some people will try to ‘take credit for your accomplishments’ (which personally made me roll my eyes cos like, calm down girl).

Enter Kim Kardashian West, Kanye’s loyal wife and Queen of both petty and shade.

Kim is awesome

Kim spoke up and said Taylor was chatting breeze and in actual fact knew all about the song as Kanye had called Taylor personally and told her about the lyrics. Taylor admitted to the phone call but said she didn’t know about the use of the word ‘bi*ch’. She also said something boring and silly like ‘oh yeah, I don’t know why these guys won’t just leave me alone, waaaaah.’

Nabbed

‘Taylor: Leave me be! Kim: Lol. K *opens snapchat…*’

In legendary not leaving her alone fashion, Kim put up a story on her snapchat of the phone call. Turns out Kanye did indeed tell her about the lyrics. And Taylor sounded more than fine with it. She was impressed Kanye even bothered to call her and she was super thankful for the heads up. She even went on to say “If people ask me about it, I think it would be great for me to be like, ‘look he called me and told me the line before it came out. Joke on you guys, we’re fine’.”

After her snap story, just to make sure she had truly left us all dead from this petty overdose, Kim now finished us off with this tweet:

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‘Shade delivery level: 99.9%’

Never one to admit that she’s wrong, Taylor took to her instagram, saying “Where is the video of Kanye telling me he was going to call me ‘that bi*ch’ in his song? It doesn’t exist because it never happened. You don’t get to control someone’s emotional response to being called ‘that bi*ch’ in front of the entire world. Of course I wanted to like the song. I wanted to believe Kanye when he told me that I would love the song. I wanted us to have a friendly relationship. He promised to play the song for me, but he never did. While I wanted to be supportive of Kanye on the phone call, you cannot ‘approve’ a song you haven’t heard. Being falsely painted as a liar when I was never given the full story or played any part of the song is character assassination. I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of, since 2009.

Now, before I leave you guys to make of this what you will, I’m going to share with you a few questions I have for young Taylor Swift.

  1. I thought you said you were ‘totally blindsided’. You not only knew about the song, you heard some of the lyrics- please from which side exactly did you come and be blinded? Also, why drag Kanye for claiming credit for your fame when you’d heard the line before? 
  2. Why are you now forming like ‘bi*ch’ is that big a deal for a rapper to say? I mean yes, we get it, you’re feminism itself. Hooray for you. But you didn’t say it was that bit doing you before oh- it’s the sex line that was weird. Why is your mouth now switching lanes? Besides, we ALL know he didn’t mean it in a derogatory way. Kim that Kanye loves with all his being, he has called bi*ch. Is it now you he won’t call? What did you expect him to say? ‘I made that blonde lady famous’???
  3. Did you tell your squad about the phone call before you made them all tweet/speak out on your behalf? Or is lying for you an obligatory part of their contracts? 
  4. What on earth is the deal with your obsession with red lipstick? (Unrelated oh- I’m really just curious)
  5. And finally; Taylor… shey you know you’re a dirty liar abi?

PS- RIP Selena Gomez, who tried to get involved but instead, just got herself Twitter dragged. We’ll (sort of) miss you.

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