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I went to a departmental store to purchase a whistle but I was told it was sold out. Hmmmm… Nigerians have joined the #WhistleGang! But my determination and perseverance paid off as I bought a whistle from another store. I danced shoki combined with shakiti bobo just because of a mere whistle. You will think I won a billion dollars lottery. As in… this one pass lottery.

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The purpose of the whistle is not to referee some football match where players will be suffering themselves in the sun. It is for me to blow the whistle for the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) against all the so-called big men who have looted my money and stashed it in either a posh or haggard building.

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My enthusiasm to blow my whistle is triggered by the fact that I will be paid 5% by the EFCC if my information turns out to be true. Imagine just blowing the whistle on my oga in return for 5%. I will blow the whistle until my cheeks burst!

I have already mounted surveillance at all the homes of these politicians and ‘big men’ in preparation to rat them out. See you, I am connected to all of them and they will never imagine I was the one that blew the whistle!

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But I have my fears. It has to do with trusting the EFCC. Recall how you give the police sensitive information and they, in turn, expose you to the person you went to report? I hope EFCC will be different. I am too young to die. I still have mother and father at home (who send you to blow whistle?). In addition, I do not know when I will be paid the 5%. But I am willing to wait, because my information is 100% reliable.

I am sure you have been seeing the bundles of pound sterlings, Dollars and Naira EFCC has been ceasing in various homes. He…he…he. That is small. I am coming for you…you…you… Watch out!

I will blow the whistle until my cheeks give way because the more I blow, the more my account is credited with 5%.

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Let me even calculate 5% of N5 billion = N250 million, and you say I will not blow the whistle?  Na lie!

In fact, I have changed my job. I am now a professional whistle blower.

 

Written By Damilola Faustino

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